Girl Scout Cookies
by Nimblefoot13
Summary: Everyone loves buying cookies from little girls, right? Well, maybe not. Five times Roy, Ed, and Roy-and-Ed denied themselves of this pleasure (and one time they didn't.) RoyEd fluff rated for language. Probably. No flames, froods! Ch. 2 up!
1. 1) Ed

_Girl Scout™ cookies_

**Well Hello! In case you're wondering, this will probably not be updated regularly, because reasons. Like, school and stuff. So…please review! Because I need motivation to update and stuff. When I do update, though, it'll probably be during the weekend.**

**I do not own The Girl Scouts of America, nor do I own Fullmetal Alchemist. *big smiles* Ding!  
**

*****next chapter soon if people like this*****

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*ding-dong*

"ugh." Ed rolled off the couch and onto his feet at the sound of the doorbell. He was staying over at Roy's house, who was currently out getting groceries for tonight's dinner. Ed was going to help him make a chicken Marsala and pasta-

*DING-DONG, BITCH*

The bell interrupted Ed's thoughts of food, although the last part was just his imagination.

"Alright, alright. I'm comin'" he grumbled. Not being tall enough to look through the peephole, he cracked the door open. _I swear, if that bastard got locked out again, so help me I will glue that key to his face._

"What?' he asked crabbily to the little girl dressed in a pink and blue uniform common to the Girl's Club of Amestris.

"Would you like to buy some Amestrian Girl's Club cookies?" She queried sweetly. Ed thougth for a moment. They were making dinner soon and Roy had told him plenty of times before not to eat sweets before dinner so he wouldn't spoil his appetite. _As if._ But then, thinking of all the ways Roy had punished him before… _I don't really want to sleep on the couch._

"Pleeeeeeeaaaaasssssssseeeeee" the little girl questioned again, as if drawing out the word made it more convincing.

"If you want to sell them so bad why don't you buy them yourself?" He answered shortly. **[trollolol]** and closed the door. The bell rang again, and the girl was still standing there when he yanked the door open.

"I'll buy some if you give me the money." She blinked innocently.

"Toche, girly." He replied, slightly amused. He saw Roy's car pull up in the drive.

"Sorry kid, I can't have dessert before dinner," he told her as she turned away. "Bye." She skipped away dejectedly, if that's possible.

"Wow Ed, it looks like you just kicked that girl's puppy." Roy commented, walking in the door with the groceries.

"No, I just didn't buy her damn cookies." The blond stretched out his back and took a bag from the taller man.

"Oh that. Yep, it's Cookie season in Central. They mobbed me too."

"And did you buy any?"

"Nope!" he grinned, holding up a box of the exact same cookies they were talking about. Ed just raised an eyebrow.

"It's empty," he quickly explained. "It's a decoy box. You just hold it up and say you already bought some." Ed snorted.

"Clever."

"Would you go so far as to call me a… smart cookie?"

"Get out."

"What? Ed-"

"Get the fuck out right now."

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**Heehee. I love this! leave a review and no flames! ***Next chapter soon if people like this!*****


	2. 2) Roy

**Ch. 2! Thanks to all these lovely reviewers and favorites and followers! You guys rock! Here's Roy's experience with an older girl scout, you know, those ones who become co-troop leaders or whatever. **

Alexandria didn't *want* to be in the Girl's Club. Really, she didn't. She was only forced into enlisting the "teen leaders" troop because her mom thought that her little sister needed a better role model. As if. And that's how she found herself standing on the doorstep of a nice house holding a clipboard and chewing on some Super Strawberry Bubble Wadz.

Roy Mustang looked out of the peep hole that was exactly parallel to his eye. On his door step he saw a teenage girl with eyebrow and lip piercings, heavy black eyeliner and a pink uniform shirt and skirt three sizes too small. Now, if Roy was not gay, involved, and a little younger, he would have been interested in the girl. But alas (for dear Alexandria), thoughts of his blond pipsqueak kept him away from the ladies. She popped her gum impatiently and rolled her eyes. Roy finally decided to open the door.

"Why hello." He greeted with a dazzling smile. Alexandria's jaw dropped as she took in the beautiful sight of Roy Mustang.

"H-Hi" she stuttered. Roy smirked to himself. He had her just where he wanted her.

"Did you want something?"

"I want a lot of things." Wow. She got back in it fast.

"I'll take your word for it. Sorry miss, I'm taken. "Roy smiled wryly at her.

"I'm sure you can drop that skanky bitch for me, can't you? You _are_ central's biggest womanizer." The girl looked only a bit put out.

"I was." He grinned at the figure climbing up the porch steps towards them.

"He's mine now." The voice of Ed spoke up behind her.

"So _I'm_ the one under ownership, huh?" The dark haired man asked, amused. A glare was sent his way.

"I don't understand. What's going on here?" Alexandria cried, looking from one hot dude to the other. Ed held up a "wait" finger and went over to give his boyfriend a kiss.

"Welcome home, shrimp." Another kiss.

"Bastard." Once again, Alexandria found herself openly gaping (**get it? GAY-ping. gaping? Yeah… No**.) at the couple.

"You guys are- are- are-" she stuttered.

"Lemme help you out there:" Roy smirked at her, "toooooo-geeeeth-eeeerrrr. Toogeetheer."

"That's right, bitch. So stay away from my boyfriend or you'll be messing with Central's two greatest alchemists." Ed's grin was all teeth (And kind of feral). Dear Alex began to back away.

"Tell your friends!" They both chirped at her before lacing fingers and heading inside.

"Can you believe it?"

"I know, that's the third one this month.

~finis~

**So what's you guys' favorite Girl Scout cookie? And what flavors should The Amestrian Girls Club sell? Review and no flames! (You might burn the cookies)**


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